You know that scene in Taylor Swift’s music video for “The Man” where the “man” in the music video is hanging out at the park with his daughter, on the phone and barely paying attention to her? Then, he picks her up and shows affection while moms and dads look on with admiration and awe. A “World’s Greatest Dad” sign appears above them while he is applauded and cheered on by those around him as he simply exists as a dad in this world.

You might think something satirical like this is just over-the-top hyperbole, but you’d be wrong. This kind of crap happens in real life all the damn time. If I had a nickel for every time my husband was looked at with admiration and smiles for holding my daughter’s hand in public or like, tying her shoes, I’d be a rich, rich woman.

One mom on TikTok vented her frustration over this obnoxious double standard when it comes to the expectations of dads versus moms.

“My husband just got home from the grocery store,” TikTok content creator and mom of two, Emily Belson, explains. “He took both boys. They’re one and two.”

“Three people stopped him to tell him what a great dad he was for taking them to the store. Do you know how many times I’ve taken both of my kids to the grocery store to literally everywhere? A million. How many people have stopped me to say I’m a great mom?”

She then mouths just one frustrating word: zero.

It doesn’t take years of research or a case study to reason why this is an all too common occurrence. Outdated gender roles and misogyny have conditioned society to still believe that women should be present caretakers who are drained of their soul while selflessly giving their all to their children. Dads can pretty much do the bare minimum, like just stand next to their kid and they are instantly an amazing dad.

Once Belson’s video went viral, hundreds commented on the clip with their our frustrations on this eye-roll worthy double standard.

“Let’s normalize telling at least one mom they are doing a good job while we are out and about 🥰” one user wrote.

“Yup. My kids are older now but when my daughter was an infant he took her on a plane alone and everyone helped him,” another wrote.

One user said, “This!!!! I took them to almost ALL appointments and lessons. Dad did occasionally and got all the praise of how wonderful he is. 🤔”

Several users pointed out that when moms are out and about with their rambunctious kids, strangers usually lean on another phrase to spout off that has gives no encouragement at all.

“I’m willing to bet people have told you you’ve got your hands full instead like.. thanks?” one user wrote.

Another echoed, “I always heard, ‘Oh my you have your hands full!’”

One interesting comment changed the perspective of this double standard between moms and dad, noting that dads being praised for literally the bare minimum could be offensive to some men.

“I complained about this to my husband once and he said, ‘yeah imagine people thinking so little of you, they praise you for taking your kids to the …store. Changed my outlook,” they said.

Granted, this male perspective also requires a lot of self awareness and understanding of sexist gender role structure so let’s not hold our breath here.

Bottom line: dads don’t need to be praised just for doing the job of raising their own kids. Or maybe moms need to be praised more for regularly doing one of the hardest jobs out there: parenting.