Growing up, I was pretty much allowed to do whatever I wanted (within reason). I could buy CDs with the “Parental Guidance” sticker on it. I could watch FRIENDS and The Real World at the ripe age of 9. I was on the internet, unsupervised, by the time I was in junior high. Despite the very lax supervision, I think I turned out okay!
Now, I’m a parent, and I would, quite frankly, never let my daughter have the same allowances that I had. However, I don’t think I’ll be as strict as one mom on TikTok who is going viral for her rules when it comes to her 12-year-old twins.
In the video, the girls ask their mom different questions regarding things they are or are not allowed to do, Erin Bulcao (@mybeautifulblunder) doesn’t hold back with her answers.
“Can we have an allowance for cleaning our rooms?” the girls ask.
“No,” Bulcao replied.
They then ask, “Can we have a phone?”
“Not right now,” Bulcao responds before noting that they can only go to sleepover, “if they’re our best friends or family.”
And as for social media for the 12-year-olds — you can forget it.
“Can we drink soda?”
“No. So, love you guys!” she says before giving one of her daughters a big hug.
After the video circulated, Bulcao’s comment section was filled with criticism for her “strict” rules, noting that her kids would act out in some way despite her short leash.
“Strict parents raise sneaky kids,” one user wrote.
“I’m gonna go tell my mom I love her now,” another said.
Another said, “Well I thought my mum was strict/controlling but this.”
“Well aren’t you the sweetest,” another commented sarcastically.
Honestly, Bulcao’s rules for her tweens are not that bad! She doesn’t give the girls an allowance to clean their rooms, which is understandable. Kids that age should probably do that on their own without a financial incentive. No social media seems totally fair and a great boundary considering research coming out about young girls and mental health.
After receiving some backlash from the internet, Bulcao hopped back on TikTok to make a follow-up video, explaining her parenting approach.
“Just a reminder that these are things that I don’t let them do right now, as they’re 12,” she explained. “All of that is going to change as things have changed since they were 4.”
“They will get phones at some point. Currently, they have iPads, and we restrict all the social media apps, but they get to text with their friends and FaceTime whenever they want. They also get treats every night. They get dessert every single day. They’re perfectly happy. They have sugar in their life and everything else. So the food issue is not an issue. So just because we say no to soda because it’s actually really bad for you, it is what it is. And yes, they get it once in a blue moon. It’s not like never ever ever ever.”
“They’re great kids that have the best imagination, have the most fun with their friends, have many friends and are in dance and gymnastics, and they are so happy.’
In another video, she also explains that her way of parenting is just how she decided to do it, and she doesn’t judge any other parents for their ways whether that means less or more strict ruling.
“This is what works for us in our family,” she said.
