After a mom noticed that the way she was asking her girls to use their manners didn’t sit quite right with her, she decided to make some changes.

“A couple years ago I changed the way that I remind my girls to use their manners. It’s not like I think one is wrong and one is right. I just prefer the sound of the one that I’m using now,” Karalea Pior said.

Before she changed her method and her girls would ask for something without saying “please,” she would reply, “How do you ask nicely?”

Though this got the job done, she didn’t like the sound of it and opted for something a little different and less direct.

She continued, “I think we all forget to use our manners sometimes,” she said. “Instead of saying, ‘How do you ask?’ Or, ‘Where are your manners?’ I started saying, ‘Oh, are you asking me something?’ Every time I say that they repeat their question but using their manners.”

“So if they say, ‘I want water.’ Oh, are you asking me something, hun? And then they always correct it. Again, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong the other way. I just personally think that this way sounds a little bit nicer. A lot of people have noticed me saying this in videos and said that they really liked it. So I figured I would put it here permanently and see if some other people really like it too,” she concluded.

In the caption, Pior elaborated on her method and wrote, “Manners are a pretty big deal to me. We’ve been instilling them into our kids since they talk … but they are human, and we all forget our manners sometimes.”

“When they forget, or make their tiny little demands and forget I’m not Cinderella, I’ve been saying “Are you asking me something?” and they pretty much always rephrase, more politely.”

After her video made the rounds, several TikTok users sounded off in the comments, praising Pior for her parenting hack.

“I love the idea of changing the way WE do things to teach them to change how THEY do things. Instead of always expecting them to change their ways!” one user wrote.

Another wrote, “I taught mine more about tone once they knew the please and thank yous. ie can you pass the salt, said kindly vs PLEASE PASS THE SALT said with attitude!”

With one simple switch-up, Pior put the decision to use manners in her kids’ hands instead of demanding or prompting them to do it because she asked, giving them autonomy and independence which will go a long way.