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Between the pandemic, the economy, and housing shortages, more and adult children are asking to come live home. Adult kids are taking up their old bedrooms, attics, basements, and spare apartments after they get divorced, lose a job, get back on their feet, or save for a house — and parents have very different views on whether this is good or bad. Some love to have more time with their kids. Others are stressed out by the costs and the conflicts. Others still just want to see their kids be independent and thriving on their own.
One dad, Ben, shared his strong take on kids coming back to roost after leaving the nest: No matter what, you can come back home.
“This is what my wife and I are going to tell our three boys when they get older,” he said in his viral video. “If you ever feel so incredibly lonely that you need it? Come home. If your relationship fails? Come home. If you’re struggling mentally? Come home. If it costs too much with your bills? Come home. And if something goes so incredibly wrong and you need it? Come home. We’ll help you fix it.”
And then he stresses that is doesn’t matter when or where or how or why: he will provide them shelter and love, and that’s that.
“But most importantly, no matter where you are in life, no matter how old you are, or the relationship that we have, your home is always our home,” he concluded.
Down in the comments, thousands of parents loved his strong and simple message to his kids.
“Thank you! I’m tired of the ‘tough love’ parents. family home should be your sanctuary,” one person wrote.
“This is the cornerstone of resilience,” another said. “If you know you have a safe place to fall, you can cope with the hardships of life.”
“I was just telling my co-worker that one of the greatest gifts my parents ever gave me was the security of knowing I could always come home. It makes a person stronger,” someone else wrote.
Many shared the stories about how they returned home when they got into tough spots.
“I was stuck in an abusive marriage I thought I had no way out of — texted my dad once “if I need to come home, can I?” — he moved me out the next weekend and I am surviving and thriving now,” one woman wrote.
“I fell pregnant unexpectedly and my parents asked me to come home, I would’ve been lost without them,” another said.
“My parents have this philosophy and it has saved the lives of my siblings and I multiple times,” another said.
Yes, it can be difficult to welcome a grown child home, especially if they are going though a rough time — or if they’re coming with their own children, too. But perhaps being a parent mean supporting your kids for their lifetime, not just until they’re 18.
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