Picking a partner and deciding to settle down with one person takes an enormous amount of risk. When we’re putting all our eggs in another’s basket, there certainly should be tons of evidence to back up the claim that this particular person is the one for us. Now, this doesn’t mean that every relationship is perfect and every partner is flawless (quite the opposite!). It does, however, mean that a good, supportive, loving partner has green flags and zero red flags.

There are some obvious green flags (affectionate, kind, smart, supportive), but there are other green flags in relationships that might be a little less apparent. One woman on TikTok shared a green flag that her husband waves proudly in a now-viral TikTok, and honestly, it makes so much sense.

41-year-old, Nicole, who has been with her husband for over 20 years, shared a piece of wisdom about the one green flag that she hopes other women can spot in a potential partner on their journey of dating and relationships.

“If he does not let you rest if he does not let you sleep — that is a red flag. That is a big fat no. That is a man who does not care about your health and well-being,” she began before explaining that if she needs a nap, feels exhausted from PMS, or just wants to go to bed early, her husband has no qualms.

“I’m not saying this is the only quality to look for in a man, but it is a green flag,” she continued. “Men who try to keep you awake so that you don’t function properly the next day and steal your sleep are narcissistic, abusive, emotional abusers — they’re not men for you.”

Nicole, who filmed the video during a moment of rest which inspired the TikTok video, notes that women’s rest and sleep are so important, and women should “run” from any man that tries to take that away from them.

All that’s going through my brain right now is every single “Day In The Life” video I see on social media of a mom doing all the night wakings with a newborn or the mom who stays up late to decorate for a child’s birthday while her husband hits the hay. Several women shared their own stories of toxic husbands in her comment section.

“I can never say ‘I’m tired’ without my husband hounding me to lay down and take a nap. My ex used to deliberately keep me awake as punishment,” one user wrote.

“Mine wore me out for YEARS. Almost killed me from the exhaustion. He was well rested,” another noted.

One woman wrote, “Yea I didn’t realize how sleep-deprived I really was till I got divorced and could sleep through the night and wake up on my own!”

Thankfully, Nicole’s comment section was also filled with women who shared how their partners encouraged them to rest, restoring my faith in humanity.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t note that my husband also supports me anytime I need a rest, gets up with our early-rising kid more often than me, and does all he can to make me feel rested and comfy. “Happy wife, happy life,” as they say! And I’m not the only one with an all-star partner.

“I have endometriosis/fibroids and my husband does EVERYTHING when I’m hurting. He even makes me cookies if I need chocolate. I support this message!!” one user commented.

“he told me he cares more about my sleep than his,” another said.

One woman wrote, “If I’m napping my husband damn near tackle the kids if they get close to waking me”

Women need sleep. They need to sleep more than men. According to the Sleep Foundation, women need on average 11 additional minutes of sleep each night compared to men.

Women are 40% more likely to have insomnia than men, and nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety and depression, two conditions strongly associated with insomnia. Not to mention women’s hormones are constantly at work, making them exhausted and run down, thanks to menstrual cycles, pregnancy, and menopause.

Long story short — let women sleep, and don’t you dare wake mom up from that cat nap.